“Don’t Touch Like You Text”

I’ve been thinking about fingertips a lot lately. Specifically how we use them in our day and how that translates to our night. I tweeted yesterday, “Don’t touch like  you text” and I received several responses musing about what that might mean. 

It all started a few years ago as a baby sex educator when I was hired by a woman who wanted to give a great blow job. I had been teaching public classes for a while, so why not? From what she told me, her boyfriend’s lack of enthusiasm was getting to her and I was happy to figure things out. 

Dildos in place on the table, I drilled her about her man’s preferences. Her mouth technique was in order. She seemed to be doing plenty of things right. What could it be?

Next, I Nancy Drew’d her Kung Fu grip, watching as she stroked the lubricated shaft, noticing a stuttering drag. 

“Grip my forearm.”

“What?” she asked, startled.

“Grip my forearm. I want to feel how you are squeezing the shaft.”

Everything crystallized. The woman had been squeezing his erect member like she was popping bubble wrap with the pads of her fingers. 

Once I worked with her to compress from her palm instead, everything fell into place. Mouth to hand, hand to other hand, her movements flowing together I was proud of her and my mind on fire. I thought this was only a female-pleasuring offense!

After investigating this observation over the years, I’ve found that folks tend to grip from the fingertip down. Everyday texting, typing and button-pushing activities do not prepare us for the nuanced needs of our nerve endings.

Recently, I decided it was time to find easy ways to turn these habits around, so I’ve been developing new exercises for better lovership. Just imagine all the ways we can use our hands for pleasure beyond our fingertips! It’s almost too much for my brain to take.

So that’s where I’m at and what’s on my mind. 



Posted in sex

4 thoughts on ““Don’t Touch Like You Text”

  1. soooo – you’re wonderful 🙂 and it’s so easy to hear your voice when reading your words… Hope to get more of this

  2. Omg, that’s why I always fall for guitar players… They have well developed sensitivity in their fingertips and know all the gradations of pressure. Just watching a guy playing gets me all hot! I start imagining im the guitar…

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