When things first get sexy, mental chatter can drown out our partner’s heavy breathing. Sometimes, we’re not even aware of how our inner monologues effect our pleasuring behavior. I think you’re swell, dandy and darn good looking. Because I like you so much, I want you to have the best there is in the bedroom. Here are three common mediocre mantras that will not help our mission:
MANTRA #1: “I’m Going to Make You Cum”
VARIATION: “I’m really good at fellatio/cunnilingus/[insert sex act here]”
Orgasm is not the goal. That would be pleasure. Orgasm is what happens when you’re busy having fun. A demanding sexual ego = Not Fun. Send that buzz kill of an expectation packing and enjoy everyone’s genitals unclenching.
MANTRA #2: “Am I doing this right!?”
VARIATION: “Oh please like this. Please, oh please?”
Where the first mantra is the pinnacle of egoism, this one is the height of insecurity. In the land of pleasure, there is no “right,” nor are there “should’s” or “must’s.” It is a land of wonderful possibility and infinite opportunity. Listen for ragged breathing, look for flushed skin and feel for tensing muscles. If their bodily arousal isn’t apparent, keep playing with sexual variables.
MANTRA #3: “This is How All My Other Partners Liked it”
VARIATION: “Why aren’t you working right!?”
Stop. Right. Now. Put down your habits. Do it quickly. Every new fun-time partner means expanding your hands-on skill set. FANTABULOUS! Just remember, with each new terrain comes new curves in the road. The first few times, you might wanna slow down around the bend.
And so, dear friend, if you hear any of the above rattling around, tell it to go “shush” itself and enjoy the panting. Go Team Fun!
Sex Nerd Sandra 
Right on, Sandra!!!!!
Date: Fri, 7 Dec 2012 10:57:19 +0000 To: bobsullivan4@hotmail.com
alternative model is circular and begins with women feeling a need for intimacy , which leads her to seek out and be receptive to sexual stimuli; women then feel sexual arousal, in addition to sexual desire . The cycle results in an enhanced feeling of intimacy. Basson emphasizes the idea that a lack of spontaneous desire should not be taken as an indication of female sexual dysfunction ; many women experience sexual arousal and responsive desire simultaneously when they are engaged in sexual activity.
Yyyyes! Thank YOU! I am linking to this. Anyone could have might have should have but didn’t, put the above into writing, so, thank you for doing so. These definitely are a rather overlooked but important three points.
Can’t agree more sex is not just about the orgasm, it is how you get to that point is it not. Giving and getting sexual pleasure is the first thing on my list. As long as it is pleasurable I keep doing it and moving on to something else in time, I know when it is not right, I move on. Imperative to keep new things happening all the time don’t get stuck in the habit that one move fits all keep it inventive that may be the biggest part of the fun, trying new things. Get the toys involved for some great fun in the sack….or were ever….:)
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